Even though I co-wrote The Empowered Estate Planner, and as a Certified Executor Advisor am well aware of the amount of work involved, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional weight, or the emotional relief, that came with sitting down with the clear intention of completing my end-of-life planning.
I began with the basics simply because I assumed it would be easy to tackle the “low-hanging fruit” first. What I quickly realized, as I started recording the small details I take for granted, such as my full legal name, date of birth or Social Insurance Number, was that this is the exact information my executor would be required to know, without the benefit of the second-nature recall I rely on every day.
As I moved through my planning, keeping my executor in mind with every stroke of my pen, the emotional relief grew and the weight of the work began to fall away. It really hit home that this is my final act of love. This isn’t work or a checklist, this is love in action.
I was genuinely surprised by how much mental space it freed up once it was done.
I also realized just how much information I carry in my head, details I know instinctively, but that my executor would absolutely not know, particularly under stress.
This work isn’t about planning for death.
It’s about comfort in a moment when it really matters.
Next, I moved on to Contacts.
Instead of relying on memory, I used the contacts already saved in my phone as a guide. Having everything right in front of me kept the process from feeling overwhelming. Knowing my phone will also be a helpful tool for my executor, I took a few extra minutes to update contact information and delete people who are no longer part of my life.
That small step alone will spare my executor the experience of making a difficult phone call and hearing, “Shelley who?” on the other end of the line.
Reviewing my contacts helped me prioritize who truly needs to be notified immediately, who could be contacted later, and who doesn’t need to be contacted by my executor at all. Updating my contacts also gave me a sense of organization in my current day-to-day life which aligns deeply with my living-well philosophy.
One thing became very clear during this process: designating a point person who is not the executor, could be incredibly helpful, as that person can assist with notifying friends or extended family and relieve a significant amount of pressure during an already emotional time.
Next, I recorded all my personal information. Yet again, more details I know without thinking, but someone else wouldn’t. Information required by Vital Statistics, such as my parents’ names, dates and places of birth, or where my birth certificate is kept.
Once again, I was struck by how long it would take someone else to piece this information together without my guidance.
When it came to my living expenses, I didn’t want to rely on memory alone, so I logged into my banking app and reviewed my recurring expenses including utilities, subscriptions, and memberships to make sure everything was listed, along with how each item is paid. This will provide my executor with an easy way to see exactly what expenses come out of the bank account on a regular basis.
What this week showed me clearly is that I definitely do not want to complete my end-of-life and estate planning all at once, but that I definitely do want to tackle it so my executor will know just how much I appreciate them.
The feeling of accomplishment this process gave me made the time well spent. Getting the basics out of my head and onto paper will save my executor hours of searching and second-guessing.
And it was a good reminder of just how many little details make up my life.
This week’s homework, should you choose:
Record your emergency information. The intent is “just the facts” so you don’t overwhelm yourself or the person who just needs to know who to call in an emergency or made aware of any existing medical conditions.
Record contact names and telephone numbers, along with any special notes.
Record your personal information, household expenses, subscriptions, and memberships.
The best place to record this in my humble opinion is The Empowered Estate Planner.
As professionals in the death industry, my business partner and I, have already thought through all the details, so you won’t have to.
All the prompts are there.
Nothing important will get missed.
You can add as much or as little detail as feels right for you.
Most importantly, it takes pressure off the people you love.
That alone makes it worth having.
However, you can absolutely use your own system if you already have one. The important thing is that you record this information so it’s easily accessible for your loved ones.
If you’d like help thinking through what to record and why it matters, I’ve created a more detailed digital companion guide to walk you through it calmly.